I’m 17 gonna be 18 in 4 months and all I think about is suicide. I feel completely invisible to people mainly women because of how hideously ugly I am. I’ve only been in one relationship and it was an online relationship she completely mentally tortured me for about a year. I have a permanent scar on my finger because it got sliced open accidentally by trying to take a razor blade out of a razor because we were going to self harm together. She forced me to squeeze the blood put it on my cock and jerk off I was 16 she was 20. She forced me to finger my asshole and show her videos if I didn’t she made me feel badly about it. Long story short she ruined my fucking life and I will never fucking

I don't understand why you could never see that Jessica fucking likes you. I kept telling you she made me uncomfortable, yet you only fully realized it when I sent you a damn paragraph about it, despite all the times I expressed vocally that I didn't like her. Why would you even get mad at me for emailing Jason back when YOU were on FACETIME with her so often right after we called or even before WE called. Playing games with her, doing love language quizzes because she asked, giving each other nicknames, letting her tell you "I love you," with you asking for them too, having a sleep call just because she randomly called you in the morning and went to sleep with you set up, telling ME not to

I just want love. I want to be loved like I love others. Like I love Angel. Angel, please come back to me. I think you're a great boy, and you've made me feel so appreciated and understood, like I wasn't weird. You also aren't perfect like a lot of guys act like they are, you have problems deeply rooted into you that cause you to be the way you are, and I promise to love you through your problems. I just want you to realize I can treat you better than what you were treated like by your father and mother and other girls. I want to love you! I want to. And I want you to see that. I don't care if you're ugly, if you're "chopped", if you skip class, if you can't comprehend a scheduled day-to-day