most of my friends are getting asked out, guys sliding into their DMs or just simply getting compliments from total strangers on the street while I only get to listen to their stories and wonder when will it be my turn :') I feel so ugly right now I could totally rip my face off
I've always felt pretty, or at the very least not hideously bad looking. But I'm having second thoughts, maybe I'm absolutely delusional and have overestimated how I look? I can see every flaw right now, especially my brows and my eyes. My mom is really straight forward and honest with her words, and I haven't heard her say that I look pretty in a long time. On the contrary, she's been complimenting my friends, saying how they're really pretty girls (sharp noses, big eyes...). Really, all my mom has been saying is that I'm too skinny, too flat, too short. She also says that she’s much prettier than me when she was in her youth. There's also this guy in my class who hates me because he "sees my face all the time" and finds it annoying. Honestly, I’m so dumb for not noticing how my friends only take photos of my pretty friends when we go out, and when I ask them to take photos of me, they just tell me to stop being so impatient. I’ve just been lying to myself that I look pretty this whole time :P
I know physical looks isn't everything, but the problem is that not only am I unattractive now, I'm also lacking in charm or charisma or talent. I'm terrible at socializing, I just always seem to make the wrong move, I'm either too quiet, too loud or say the wrong thing. I'm not good at anything, not gifted academically, I play music and do art but I'm not skillful enough to be recognized at all. I don't have cool hobbies, I'd even go out of my way to hide my hobbies because I know I'd most likely get laughed at. And most importantly, I don't have a charming personality to interest others into spending time with me. My personality literally depends on who I'm with. Even my ex has pointed out that I'm a pretty boring person and that I space out a lot (which a lot of people have pointed out atp).
Idk, I feel stupid for only realising how ugly I am now, and I regret saying that I’m pretty in front of my friends and classmates and family. I must’ve looked like a fool, praising myself while I’ve been physically, emotionally and socially unattractive this whole time.
1 Comments
Instead of focusing on what you don't bring to the table, focus instead on what you do bring. Your friends sound terrible. Perhaps it's time to find new ones. Being alone and confident in yourself is better than being surrounded by people who drag you down.
And as boring as your interests and hobbies may be, they are part of you. You will find those who share the same interests. Perhaps look online for communities? There, you'll find your tribe.
You have to seek out the place you belong.