I feel so fucking miserable everyday and I always think of ending everything but I'm too scared that they'll find out b4 I even get to kill myself and scold the shit out of me. One time, my mom saw the “scratches” on my arm — once we got home, instead of comfort, I was let with harsh words thrown at me. I told myself I wouldn't slit my wrists again but I couldn't help it, the thing that I used to slit my wrists were broken shards of the mug that I accidentally pushed. I “punished” myself for who knows what reason but it felt right to me. I've done it in the 6th grade, up until now. I've been always called fat by my family, and they don't know that it hurts the fuck out of me. I'm already disgusted by how I look, and they're making it worse. I think I'll die miserable with no one genuinely loving me. I got to an altercation once with my older brother and he said out words that I never knew he would actually say; he said I was such a fucking weirdo and I was a pain in the ass to talk to. I ended up crying so hard in my room that night, I couldn't sleep properly because I kept hitting my forehead near the bridge of my nose to worsen my migraines. That said altercation also involved my mom, it was so fucking annoying because everything she was spewing out was all about herself. She made every single shit all about herself. What about me? I can't even cry without her getting mad at me for showing tears. I rarely show my loving and emotional side because I never knew how to even show it without me cringing. I'm turning 15 this year, and I think my life's just going to get worse.