I went to school like after taking a whole fucking month holiday . What the actual fuck is wrong with students ? These lizard like assholes who keep running here and there and screaming , who actually r like " wanna be gangsters " legit fucking score so fucking good and it fucks my brain . Every single time I go to school , it's hell fucking hell and I come crying home cuz idk what else to do cuz I'm asking a fucking retard myself. On top of that I fucking feel fucking ugly. I thought I was improving in this self love thingy and fuck it , it all went to square one when I saw those giggling pretty girls talking with their whole gang. What makes it worse is that my ex, he's hot, and so I hear other women talk about him and all. The thing is I'm jelous of him , not because I hear other women talk about him but I'm JELOUS OF HIM CUZ HES GORGEOUS.i wish I was asking good looking as him. School and boys make me wanna kill myself , even pretty women make me wanna kill myself. . I absolutely hate this feeling of envy and jelousy cuz it brings resentment and hate , and I don't want to fucking hate and hate on every single gorgeous person I see?! I get 90% compliments from women, fuck I don't need them from women! I need them from guys, I wish I was a fucking lesibian I hate hate hate being attracted to men and being straight when I know that those fucking men won't ever fucking choose me back. I fucking hate being not as pretty as my ex .