i hate that i still care

I was diagnosed with severe dyslexia in second grade when I was the only one in my class who still couldn’t read. Since then, I’ve taken many, many classes to work through it, and I’m now proud to say that I’m pretty dang close to normal, but that doesn’t mean that it magically no longer affects me. It’s not like the problem can just disappear.

My reading speed is still half that of most of my friends, and it’s hard as hell to do sometimes. People always ask me why I hated reading as a kid, and the answer is simple: It was hard. I’ve now learned the glory that can be found in books, but that doesn’t mean it’s easier to do. Sometimes I just want to give up on trying because it’s taking so long and exhausts me and I’m never going to catch up to my friends and the rest of the world, so why they hell am I even trying? “Oh, you didn’t read Harry Potter when you were two days old? Why ever not?” Admittedly, that’s an exaggeration (they weren’t even out then), but you get my point. I

We were together for about a year. I don’t know what happened between us. I loved you; I really, truly did. And then. . . I don’t know. What I do know is that I’ve treated you like crap lately, and I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you in any way. We broke up yesterday, but we talked and we’re still friends. We both apologized. It was probably for the best that we broke up, but I still feel horrible. And I’m still sorry. I just hope that we will be happier being friends. In a way, I still do love you. Just not the way I thought I did. And I’m going to tell you this sometime soon. I should have told you yesterday, but everything happened so fast. And I didn’t know how to say it.